Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

There’s been this growing conversation about friendships online that has really been insightful and also disheartening to say the least. There’s one side that believes adult friends should speak daily and if you can’t commit to that then you don’t know how to be a friend. Then, there’s this other side that says we should not be so hard on our adult friends because we don’t know what people have capacity to give on a day to day basis and to just make sure they show up when it counts. I don’t know where you may fall when it comes to this conversation but let me give some wisdom as you’re deciding whether or not you want to continue a friendship with someone and a marker of a true friend as a believer in Christ.

So, what does God’s Word say about a friend? Well, the book of wisdom also known as Proverbs conveys how friends should be friendly. Simple enough, right? This means we can’t be closed off or basing our relationships on how people mistreated us in the past. This looks like cancelling someone the first time they make you upset and completely omitting that they were flawed when you decided to be their friend and they were bound to make a mistake or two or possibly three. The tell tale sign to end a friendship is not as soon as they do something wrong but the conversation you have with them regarding what they’ve done to you. Most times we aren’t even giving them the opportunity to speak or repent to us. We just size them up with tainted perspectives and dismiss them out of our lives to never speak to them again. Now, obviously if the person has wronged you on a level that requires the law to get involved or any form of abuse that is grounds to seriously consider ending a friendship. Most times it’s not that deep and that’s the point I’m trying to convey.

So, as we continue reading that same verse in Proverbs it speaks about there being a friend that sticks closer than a brother. What does this mean in the year of our Lord 2025? Does this mean we are calling them every day? Does it look like us having weekly FaceTime calls? Perhaps, for some thar answer maybe, “yes.” The important part is to make sure both parties are able to commit to that and make sure a conversation is had and not to just assume they know what the expectation is for friendship for you. For others, that may look like one call every two weeks and or one monthly outing to catch up with text messages sufficing until you meet face to face. Wherever your friendship marker may land, just make sure there is a proper conversation as to what you need and expect on this season of your life from your friend(s). This enables there to be a clear line of communication as to what they can do and maybe you all can come to a happy medium instead of not ending abruptly over pretenses that were never elaborated.

Solid friends are hard to find especially as believers. To have someone pray for you in their physical absence, know you in and out and still say I love you and God loves you much more. Being able to celebrate and mourn with someone when life sends you on yet another roller coaster of emotions is not something to take lightly or cancel abruptly all because the internet said you should. So, today we celebrate genuine, godly, and purposeful friendship from the besties to the “now we’re family.” God has given us yet another gift to steward as it relates to having friends and o pray that we remember this being a gift and to steward it according to His Word and not to conform to the rules of the world.

Be blessed!