This month has started rocking and rolling for me. What I have discovered is that I have a great battle with control. Things not going the way I envisioned sends me to a level of panic that prevents me from experiencing the Peace of God sooner rather than later. Even knowing this about myself and also being told this has me wondering, why? Why am I so easily shaken when things don’t go as planned. Then, God gently answers my question. My parents death.

My parents passing was the most abrupt disruption I’ve ever encountered. Losing them both in the same year put me in a spiritual and emotional state of frailty because I never fully forgave God for taking them. Crazy to think that I would need to forgive God for anything, right? I never thought I would be in this place either, but here I am. Physically a 33 year old woman but emotionally still stuck in the hospital room of my mom’s death bed wiping my tears and hugging my brother. I’m reminded of the last words I shared with him which was a song of worship to God as encouragement for the both of us. Although it has been six years for the longest her death always felt fresh. There was this inner battle of finding my own strength to carry on and leaning on God. The problem was I had a hard time leaning on God when o was still upset with Him and the situation. Even in my frustration and anger my mind always went back to that hospital room. The tears, the sacrifice of worship while grieving, and the hand of God keeping my fragile mind from crumbling into pieces.

What my brother and I experienced in that room with God wasn’t supposed to just aid as a memory but also a point of reference every time life happens when we least expect it. That no matter what, God deserves my worship because nothing can separate me from His enduring Love. My moms death didn’t separate me because we felt God’s comforting Presence even in our sorrow. So, today I give in. I’ve given up way too many times or at least tried to out of fear and believing the lies of the enemy. I give in to God’s Will, His Peace, and His Guidance knowing that there will be obstacles. I am encouraged that His Word is true – greater is He that is within me than he that is within the world. So, Lord show Yourself greater again and again. This won’t be an easy or overnight change. It will take accountability, awareness, and yielding to Holy Spirit but with Christ all things are possible.

If you’re like me I pray you too give in to God’s Will. Give in to His Plan no matter how inconvenient or disruptive it may be to your plans. Be encouraged knowing that God has already empowered you to overcome the inconvenience and triumph over every obstacle through Christ.

Okay, that’s it for this post and be sure to hug and love on every mother figure on your life today and days to come! Make those memories and be present in each moment.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!