Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Hi Rose Buddies!

What a year 2020 has been! We’ve been on so many roller coasters this year. Some situations have caused us despair, uncertainty, anguish, and plain confusion. In all, we can pretty much conclude this was a year for the books. In my own life, this year has allowed me to reflect and self evaluate. Oddly enough, there was some good to this pandemic for me. Although it curved some birthday plans and I am definitely getting a do over! Ha! It also made room for inward assessment. The times I intentionally allowed myself to be busy was put to a screeching halt. There was no second job to run to or a first for that matter. Furlough brought me back to my Christian fundamentals, the basics, the maintenance! What am I talking about? TIME. God desires my time. I can do so much “work” for Him and neglect our entire fellowship with each other. Time allowed me to be still and hear.

This is part of what I heard pertaining to this post. I tend to pretend like I’m okay and wait until I am better to talk about things instead of opening up as I’m going through it. My excuse is because I rather not “burden” people. In actuality, I don’t trust people enough to let them in from past situations with ex friends, exes, and family hurt. Who can relate? So, as I uncovered that rug of dirt in self reliance, I am learning how to properly heal from the hurt I experienced. Step one was admitting and step two is giving that hurt fully over to God. His Hands are stretched but He won’t force me to relinquish it. I have to make the decision to walk in newness. Part of that newness is not living in the past. Oh can’t forget the next step! Step three was admitting I need help to others! It’s great to talk to God. In fact, I’m supposed to but He encourages me to utilize the great system He provides here on earth – The Body of Christ. My super patient boyfriend has spoke into my life several times when he saw me going in a downward spiral. In a counseling session, it was said that I may inadvertently see him as my enemy. Remember my hang up on trusting new people? Bingo! Can’t utilize The Body if I’m going into self preservation mode.

Those three steps seemed ginormous to someone like me. However, seeing my strenuous efforts being useless and exhausting caused me to surrender. Let me just say, this is a daily work to renew my mind in Christ. Yes, I’m free from the bondage of fear, but it doesn’t stop it from knocking at my door every now and then. The only difference is I don’t have to answer! I have the privilege of calling my Father and Him taking care of that pest named fear banging at my hearts door. Get ‘em Dad!!

That’s what prayer unlocks! Praying the will of God and in His Spirit gives unction to Heaven to fight on my behalf. No more relying on self to get through life’s trials and coming up short and bald headed. Ha! That was funny. Okay, back to the post. Away with reliving past hurt that cripples my future and impairing my present. Through Jesus, I have the birthright to overcome. The only way to overcome is to confront. Once I confront, I accept help and accountability from my personal village willing and able to help me through this adventure called life.

Takeaways: REFLECT. Don’t continue to avoid areas in your life God wants to help clean up. I can testify that your freedom is worth pursuing. CONFRONT. Acknowledge in whatever way works for you what God has shown you in your time of reflection. INVITE. After confronting, call on people you trust to hold you accountable and push you forward and upward. I pray this resonates with you and please feel free to share!

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for a time of reflection. You’ve still been GOOD this year even in all the chaos. Your perfection has never changed. I pray each reader’s heart is open to moments of reflection. Moments for You to search their hearts and highlight where You would like to cleanse. I pray Your Body of Believers are drawn closer to one another as we draw close to You. We just want to look more like You Jesus! Love You!!

Thanks, Dad! ❤️