Hi Rose Buddy! We are now on day ten for December’s writing prompt! I feel like the days are slowly moonwalking into 2023. Anyone else feeling the same? Ironically, today’s topic has the same sentiments. How appropriate to discuss the closest exit as we are gleefully waving farewell to 2022. It’s truly poetic justice at its finest. At any rate, the closest exit brings to mind overly cautious people. They study where every exit is in the building like it was a graded test that was only being issued to them. It never occurred to me to pay that close of attention to where emergency exits were located when entering establishments. Part of me can understand the reasoning behind it. Especially given the tremulous times that we are living in now, it does not seem too far off to be so vigilant. My question would be, when does that vigilance turn into acute paranoia? Where is the line drawn if an unwarranted mindset of panic is the source of one’s caution. Yes, emergency exits are necessities to have. However, they shouldn’t be something that we are erratically obsessed over. Envisioning the worst case scenario everywhere you go is not an ideal way to live. Today, I will be discussing my viewpoint on this topic in short story form.

What happens when the exits we take do not lead to safety? Perhaps, safety has taken its own meaning in habitation of a wounded mind. Traumatic experiences have fashioned the what if’s to become what will be whilst never experiencing the joy of the present. How wasteful to have a mind that is constantly geared towards the future in hopes of not reliving the past. She is now numb to what lies in front of her very face. The ailment of anxiety wears her like a cheap piece of jewelry. You know the kind that stains the skin after use. Due to the stains of her past, she was unable to see the beauty in her present. History cannot repeat itself. This will not happen to me again! These are the words she wore with anxiety around her neck. Choking small chunks of life out of her as the days turned into nights and nights into days.

Because safety has taken its own meaning in her wounded mind. Anything that remotely mirrored what used to be heightened her paranoia. Flashbacks were visual reminders to keep her guard as high as the walls she built. This is how she remains safe in her warped life of emergency exits. Trauma has a way of doing that. Unhealed brokenness is the fuel for offense to take flight. It was easy for her to read more into things when her vision was smeared with anguish. The exits she built to retreat were actually walls to stay confined in her past experiences. It was the closest exit for her because it was all she knew. How else can I protect myself lest I keep my guard up at all times? Cutting people off became her favorite sport. She convinced herself that this was the best way to deal with anything that presents itself as discomfort or an inconvenience.

As the days turn into nights and nights into days, this life she created for herself was swiftly becoming exhausting. Constant emotional fleeting became depleting. One can imagine the mental hardship that lifestyle can bring. “Surely, there is a healthier way to maneuver through life,” she thought to herself. There’s only so many walls to build and departures I can make before my feet and hands fail me. It is time to confront what is trying to keep me confined. No longer accepting to live with a wounded mind when healing is available. As she opened her heart, she noticed that healing has a Name. This wasn’t a fairytale ending filled with pixie dust and glitter covered rainbows. The healing she imagined wasn’t the healing she received. Because what God does goes beyond what our feeble minds can perceive.

Healing looks like additional abuse with abandoned trauma. Even though the process was rough at first, she eventually understood that it was necessary. That her life or anyone else’s was not meant to be lived on easy street paralleled to no cares boulevard. Her pain was meant to be explored and not ignored. Ignoring it only produced the infection of bitterness. A bitterness she was eager to let go. Forgiveness became her weapon of choice on the road to wholeness. Now she views her closest exit as a state of Peace and not physical retreat. Living in a state of paranoia and judgment no longer fits her reconstructed mind. Daily renewing her mind in His Word has cleansed every dark stain that past experiences once stamped. Panic no longer instructs her steps. Her closest exit is now her dearest resting place when life gets too overwhelming. No longer looking to retreat out of fear but drawing near to God. He is now her strength to persevere through every battle this life may bring. Happy is she whose hope and security is found in The Lord. Relinquishing the tortured control of her past to now entering the promising abundance of her present and future.

If you came from my Instagram page, then you know I am partnering for the rest of this month with Briana Kimble, founder of Officially HER! If you haven’t already, be sure to also read my fellow writer’s blog post on www.officiallyher.org/blog and stay tuned for tomorrow’s post!