Praying before bed as a kid

Kept fear at a distance

But it never quite rid

As I got older, my actions would dictate

That my prayers grew colder

And words were used to manipulate

The ear of God to validate

What I thought was the best way

Painfully realizing He does not corroborate

I saw myself reminiscing 

Of standing amid…a cloud

Knitted with repentance

I gave a sorrowful shout

Peace met me there

I was taught to say my prayers

But relationship made it flare

This is what helped my restless nights

Thankful He never belittled my plight

This wasn’t just a childhood routine

This became my life, my everything

 

Welcome back Rosebuddy to day four of the December writing prompt! Bedtime prayers were something that was taught to me as a necessity. Growing up in a Christian household, praying was pretty much unavoidable. Finding my way, I realized that prayers were not to shift God’s Mind to what I want but to shift my heart to His desires for me. Learning through much error, that I do not know what is best for me. Just useless attempts of momentary satisfaction. That is normally driven by selfish and self-soothing patterns. My father was and still is in his physical absence a great model for devotion to prayer. Every morning I’d watch him get on his knees and follow suit every night. The humility and sacrifice it took to physically bow to God every day and night was admirable to say the least. After watching him power through long days and still give God the same reverence no matter how tired taught me how to endure.

 

I pray the same for you! That you no longer treat your prayers to God as small or saying the usual blanket prayer when you are tired. Don’t waste another moment for genuine connection to your Father. Get prayer requests, share your prayers, pray with others and find your prayer community.

When you are feeling depleted, He is waiting to recharge you. Where there are questions ailing your heart, His Spirit awaits to comfort you in the waiting. As we watch the world grow in evil and chaos I pray we remember our rightful positions which is with hearts bowed down and on our knees.

If you came from my Instagram page, then you know I am partnering for the rest of this month with Briana Kimble, founder of Officially HER! If you haven’t already, be sure to also read my fellow writer’s blog post on www.officiallyher.org/blog and stay tuned for tomorrow’s post!